Where's the Turnip Emblem game? Because you know I'd play the shit out of that.
The hell'd that work? Was she carrying his anti-clotting medication when she was kidnapped?
Being dead, he has absolutely no obligation to keep this promise.
Punishment for his future crimes.
"I already knew, somehow. Otherwise, I have no idea why I started off with that Percy option."
"But I thought plants LIKED fertilizer!"
OH DEAR SHIT WHAT THE SHITFUCK ARE THOSE!?
Just what I thought when I saw those things.
He does this ALL THE TIME. If you play this game, you will grow to hate him as much as I do.
Good to know. (Then again, given what this game ends up becoming, it might actually be good to know.
They being that one extremely freckled guy.
The Resistance that must not have lasted that long, given their lax recruitment strategies.
Why? Who the hell can say?
You say directly in front of her. Dick.
Great. That's exactly what I was wondering. "Does this prune lady have any donuts to sate my hunger?
I'm more concerned with whatever the fuck's standing in front.
Half of these are fruit. YOU LIE TO ME, HUDSON.
"And also, illogical. But I'm more concerned with your niggardly life decisions."
I AM NOT BULLSHITTING YOU WITH THIS. BATHROOM DONUTS ARE A SOLUTION.
How does the FDA exist in a world where America doesn't?
That's a new level of grossness I didn't know people could reach.
Why did the guards let me hold onto this grape juice? Or the key? WHY!?
"He's too much a racist depiction to dignify with information."
Wasn't this a shitty puzzle in Onimusha, too?
Perhaps the most accurate screenshot regarding this shitty game.
On the inside of a police station, because the writers don't know how anything works.
THAT KANJI DON'T SAY JUICE.
"I managed to keep the grape juice, though." "Why?" "......."
He's inanimate and I don't think he actually affects the gameplay. Why should I care?
Somehow, this became more terrifying. That's what.
And the others weren't? I find that hard to believe.
That's not a fourth-wall breaking joke. That's just nonsensical bullshit contrivances.
I guess that makes sense?
What mole? Wasn't this hole filled with vegetable shortly before?
Why I couldn't go in the shack is beyond me.
Hatsune Miku, what are you doing here?
FUCKING WHAT!? FUCKING WHAT!? BACK THE FUCK UP!
It's also vaguely racist.
Good. I'll need something to bury the corpse.
The Great Deku Tree's militant right-wing brother.
I'm still not entirely sure of what the hell I'm looking at.
Then fucking go back and pick it back up, you lazy little shits.
Stranger still, she has no readily established vegetable motif.
HOLY SHIT! IT'S LISA!....Who's Lisa, again? That wasn't really established at any point in the story
Why can't I just look at her? I have Look and Check options, after all.
You look WAY too pleased for somebody on the verge of head explosion.
But I'm already inside, strangely proportioned woman.
Percy: completely useless sidekick who tosses shit on a whim.
Like a baby with lipstick on its face?
How do genetics work in this universe?
Kill it. Preferably with fire.
Rather appropriate how close that is to "Rape-y".
Look at how courageous they are for standing there. YOUR SACRIFICES WILL NOT GO UNAPPRECIATED.
Strangely enough, only one of them is actually worth a damn.
What about the fucking weapons?
"Why? Fuck you, that's why."
I, too, drink heavily at mid-afternoon to honor the martyrs.
And the people are peanuts. Let that horror just sink in.
I'm saying that these people live in the corpses of their friends and family.
"How do I know their names? And why did I decide to come with you? Who the hell can say?"
Because nothing in this game can be described as a bonus.
Not the convenience store; just the store that happens to be convenient.
Maybe because they're just crappy pixels.
Your guess is as good as mine. (Walkthrough.)
Which is very clearly booze.
Again, still not clear on what I'm looking at.
"Look at the asshole picking up grass!"
WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!?!??!!!?
So sort of like my crown if it was infinitely stupider.
You mean Pete Sassafrass? Because that's the only way any of this is making sense.
I think this speaks for itself.
That's not a praise. That's an insult.
"These depressed vagrants look like they might sad us."
Says that 40 year old looking eggplant monster.
THIS SCENE IS USELESS. I HAD A SHOVEL TAKEN AWAY FROM ME ONLY TO BE GIVEN ANOTHER ONE.
That's usually a VERY good thing.
"How dare they use the fill tool on this hallway!?"
Looks more purple, honestly.
..................*slowly backs away from this mess*
Yea, that's what I thought when I first saw her. "I should look for a star on her forehead."
Nothing about it looks particularly royal. And since when did monarchs even have private shower room
He's talking about the (evidently completely useless) towels.
Was this girl rolling around in the mud before she came in? What are those footprints made of?
That makes no sense. Then again, that's not the first thing about this game that makes no sense.
She's racist and we're perverts. Great.
You know, to GET THE GUARD OFF YOUR ASS.
"Huzzah! You, madame, are worthy of praise!" "PERVERT!"
He trips into the lake for pretty much no reason.
For what? Who the hell can say? This is the guy who held onto grape juice on a hunch.
"I'm ambivalent about this marriage thing. Can't wait to get married."
Why did it have to be the ornament? Why not literally anything else in my pockets?
"Look at all the blood gushing out of his dumb fuck face!"
The hell is it with this game and random 80s references?
Like Famicom Wars, only far more needlessly sexual.
I think it says a lot about me that my first thought for this screenshot was a Sanjay and Craig joke
It never becomes relevant. Ever.
A very strange Neville Chamberlain parody?
I guess that'll work, too. Also, wasn't this guy supposed to fit inside a bucket? Did he grow 6ft?
What an oddly specific and incredibly stupid thing to know.
Move to: right next to her face. Look: for eight hours.
"Day by day"? How often does this girl bathe, again?
"I heard that." "And how rude!"
By the game's own established rules, I have no idea how this works.
What an awkward translation.
No, he looks more like a wine bottle crossed with Hugo, Man of 1000 Faces.
"You're so skillful that you have convinced me to neglect my duties to my brutal dictator boss."
Get it? Because I certainly don't.
How needlessly incredibly confusing.
I have to admit: I was thinking of something else.
Brought to you by Windows Paint.
You'll understand that it's difficult to tell when this is your default expression.
Good thing THAT plot thread was resolved. Otherwise, nothing would have made any sense.
Just in case you wanted to play the two minutes of the final level.
"Why are you shouting?" "IT'S JUST SO EXCITING, MAN!"
What a hastily resolved plot thread.
His marionette look would actually be quite clever if that meant anything.
No. I guess I'll have to do.
How completely stupid, like the rest of this game.
Which is exactly what he is.
LONG LIVE THE ARCHANEAN EMPIRE!
Good. No more of this game.
What a needlessly depressing entry.
I didn't understand a single part of it.
This is no place to make fun of a man's stutter.
These aren't names. These are sentences.
OK, I have absolutely no clue what that's trying to say.
Perhaps the only guy who was doing his job even remotely well.
NONE SHALL QUESTION NONTAMA AND URA SAN.
Where's the Turnip Emblem game? Because you know I'd play the shit out of that.
The hell'd that work? Was she carrying his anti-clotting medication when she was kidnapped?
Being dead, he has absolutely no obligation to keep this promise.
Punishment for his future crimes.
"I already knew, somehow. Otherwise, I have no idea why I started off with that Percy option."
"But I thought plants LIKED fertilizer!"
OH DEAR SHIT WHAT THE SHITFUCK ARE THOSE!?
Just what I thought when I saw those things.
He does this ALL THE TIME. If you play this game, you will grow to hate him as much as I do.
Good to know. (Then again, given what this game ends up becoming, it might actually be good to know.
They being that one extremely freckled guy.
The Resistance that must not have lasted that long, given their lax recruitment strategies.
Why? Who the hell can say?
You say directly in front of her. Dick.
Great. That's exactly what I was wondering. "Does this prune lady have any donuts to sate my hunger?
I'm more concerned with whatever the fuck's standing in front.
Half of these are fruit. YOU LIE TO ME, HUDSON.
"And also, illogical. But I'm more concerned with your niggardly life decisions."
I AM NOT BULLSHITTING YOU WITH THIS. BATHROOM DONUTS ARE A SOLUTION.
How does the FDA exist in a world where America doesn't?
That's a new level of grossness I didn't know people could reach.
Why did the guards let me hold onto this grape juice? Or the key? WHY!?
"He's too much a racist depiction to dignify with information."
Wasn't this a shitty puzzle in Onimusha, too?
Perhaps the most accurate screenshot regarding this shitty game.
On the inside of a police station, because the writers don't know how anything works.
THAT KANJI DON'T SAY JUICE.
"I managed to keep the grape juice, though." "Why?" "......."
He's inanimate and I don't think he actually affects the gameplay. Why should I care?
Somehow, this became more terrifying. That's what.
And the others weren't? I find that hard to believe.
That's not a fourth-wall breaking joke. That's just nonsensical bullshit contrivances.
I guess that makes sense?
What mole? Wasn't this hole filled with vegetable shortly before?
Why I couldn't go in the shack is beyond me.
Hatsune Miku, what are you doing here?
FUCKING WHAT!? FUCKING WHAT!? BACK THE FUCK UP!
It's also vaguely racist.
Good. I'll need something to bury the corpse.
The Great Deku Tree's militant right-wing brother.
I'm still not entirely sure of what the hell I'm looking at.
Then fucking go back and pick it back up, you lazy little shits.
Stranger still, she has no readily established vegetable motif.
HOLY SHIT! IT'S LISA!....Who's Lisa, again? That wasn't really established at any point in the story
Why can't I just look at her? I have Look and Check options, after all.
You look WAY too pleased for somebody on the verge of head explosion.
But I'm already inside, strangely proportioned woman.
Percy: completely useless sidekick who tosses shit on a whim.
Like a baby with lipstick on its face?
How do genetics work in this universe?
Kill it. Preferably with fire.
Rather appropriate how close that is to "Rape-y".
Look at how courageous they are for standing there. YOUR SACRIFICES WILL NOT GO UNAPPRECIATED.
Strangely enough, only one of them is actually worth a damn.
What about the fucking weapons?
"Why? Fuck you, that's why."
I, too, drink heavily at mid-afternoon to honor the martyrs.
And the people are peanuts. Let that horror just sink in.
I'm saying that these people live in the corpses of their friends and family.
"How do I know their names? And why did I decide to come with you? Who the hell can say?"
Because nothing in this game can be described as a bonus.
Not the convenience store; just the store that happens to be convenient.
Maybe because they're just crappy pixels.
Your guess is as good as mine. (Walkthrough.)
Which is very clearly booze.
Again, still not clear on what I'm looking at.
"Look at the asshole picking up grass!"
WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!?!??!!!?
So sort of like my crown if it was infinitely stupider.
You mean Pete Sassafrass? Because that's the only way any of this is making sense.
I think this speaks for itself.
That's not a praise. That's an insult.
"These depressed vagrants look like they might sad us."
Says that 40 year old looking eggplant monster.
THIS SCENE IS USELESS. I HAD A SHOVEL TAKEN AWAY FROM ME ONLY TO BE GIVEN ANOTHER ONE.
That's usually a VERY good thing.
"How dare they use the fill tool on this hallway!?"
Looks more purple, honestly.
..................*slowly backs away from this mess*
Yea, that's what I thought when I first saw her. "I should look for a star on her forehead."
Nothing about it looks particularly royal. And since when did monarchs even have private shower room
He's talking about the (evidently completely useless) towels.
Was this girl rolling around in the mud before she came in? What are those footprints made of?
That makes no sense. Then again, that's not the first thing about this game that makes no sense.
She's racist and we're perverts. Great.
You know, to GET THE GUARD OFF YOUR ASS.
"Huzzah! You, madame, are worthy of praise!" "PERVERT!"
He trips into the lake for pretty much no reason.
For what? Who the hell can say? This is the guy who held onto grape juice on a hunch.
"I'm ambivalent about this marriage thing. Can't wait to get married."
Why did it have to be the ornament? Why not literally anything else in my pockets?
"Look at all the blood gushing out of his dumb fuck face!"
The hell is it with this game and random 80s references?
Like Famicom Wars, only far more needlessly sexual.
I think it says a lot about me that my first thought for this screenshot was a Sanjay and Craig joke
It never becomes relevant. Ever.
A very strange Neville Chamberlain parody?
I guess that'll work, too. Also, wasn't this guy supposed to fit inside a bucket? Did he grow 6ft?
What an oddly specific and incredibly stupid thing to know.
Move to: right next to her face. Look: for eight hours.
"Day by day"? How often does this girl bathe, again?
"I heard that." "And how rude!"
By the game's own established rules, I have no idea how this works.
What an awkward translation.
No, he looks more like a wine bottle crossed with Hugo, Man of 1000 Faces.
"You're so skillful that you have convinced me to neglect my duties to my brutal dictator boss."
Get it? Because I certainly don't.
How needlessly incredibly confusing.
I have to admit: I was thinking of something else.
Brought to you by Windows Paint.
You'll understand that it's difficult to tell when this is your default expression.
Good thing THAT plot thread was resolved. Otherwise, nothing would have made any sense.
Just in case you wanted to play the two minutes of the final level.
"Why are you shouting?" "IT'S JUST SO EXCITING, MAN!"
What a hastily resolved plot thread.
His marionette look would actually be quite clever if that meant anything.
No. I guess I'll have to do.
How completely stupid, like the rest of this game.
Which is exactly what he is.
LONG LIVE THE ARCHANEAN EMPIRE!
Good. No more of this game.
What a needlessly depressing entry.
I didn't understand a single part of it.
This is no place to make fun of a man's stutter.
These aren't names. These are sentences.
OK, I have absolutely no clue what that's trying to say.
Perhaps the only guy who was doing his job even remotely well.
NONE SHALL QUESTION NONTAMA AND URA SAN.
Where's the Turnip Emblem game? Because you know I'd play the shit out of that.
The hell'd that work? Was she carrying his anti-clotting medication when she was kidnapped?
Being dead, he has absolutely no obligation to keep this promise.
Punishment for his future crimes.
"I already knew, somehow. Otherwise, I have no idea why I started off with that Percy option."
"But I thought plants LIKED fertilizer!"
OH DEAR SHIT WHAT THE SHITFUCK ARE THOSE!?
Just what I thought when I saw those things.
He does this ALL THE TIME. If you play this game, you will grow to hate him as much as I do.
Good to know. (Then again, given what this game ends up becoming, it might actually be good to know.
They being that one extremely freckled guy.
The Resistance that must not have lasted that long, given their lax recruitment strategies.
Why? Who the hell can say?
You say directly in front of her. Dick.
Great. That's exactly what I was wondering. "Does this prune lady have any donuts to sate my hunger?
I'm more concerned with whatever the fuck's standing in front.
Half of these are fruit. YOU LIE TO ME, HUDSON.
"And also, illogical. But I'm more concerned with your niggardly life decisions."
I AM NOT BULLSHITTING YOU WITH THIS. BATHROOM DONUTS ARE A SOLUTION.
How does the FDA exist in a world where America doesn't?
That's a new level of grossness I didn't know people could reach.
Why did the guards let me hold onto this grape juice? Or the key? WHY!?
"He's too much a racist depiction to dignify with information."
Wasn't this a shitty puzzle in Onimusha, too?
Perhaps the most accurate screenshot regarding this shitty game.
On the inside of a police station, because the writers don't know how anything works.
THAT KANJI DON'T SAY JUICE.
"I managed to keep the grape juice, though." "Why?" "......."
He's inanimate and I don't think he actually affects the gameplay. Why should I care?
Somehow, this became more terrifying. That's what.
And the others weren't? I find that hard to believe.
That's not a fourth-wall breaking joke. That's just nonsensical bullshit contrivances.
I guess that makes sense?
What mole? Wasn't this hole filled with vegetable shortly before?
Why I couldn't go in the shack is beyond me.
Hatsune Miku, what are you doing here?
FUCKING WHAT!? FUCKING WHAT!? BACK THE FUCK UP!
It's also vaguely racist.
Good. I'll need something to bury the corpse.
The Great Deku Tree's militant right-wing brother.
I'm still not entirely sure of what the hell I'm looking at.
Then fucking go back and pick it back up, you lazy little shits.
Stranger still, she has no readily established vegetable motif.
HOLY SHIT! IT'S LISA!....Who's Lisa, again? That wasn't really established at any point in the story
Why can't I just look at her? I have Look and Check options, after all.
You look WAY too pleased for somebody on the verge of head explosion.
But I'm already inside, strangely proportioned woman.
Percy: completely useless sidekick who tosses shit on a whim.
Like a baby with lipstick on its face?
How do genetics work in this universe?
Kill it. Preferably with fire.
Rather appropriate how close that is to "Rape-y".
Look at how courageous they are for standing there. YOUR SACRIFICES WILL NOT GO UNAPPRECIATED.
Strangely enough, only one of them is actually worth a damn.
What about the fucking weapons?
"Why? Fuck you, that's why."
I, too, drink heavily at mid-afternoon to honor the martyrs.
And the people are peanuts. Let that horror just sink in.
I'm saying that these people live in the corpses of their friends and family.
"How do I know their names? And why did I decide to come with you? Who the hell can say?"
Because nothing in this game can be described as a bonus.
Not the convenience store; just the store that happens to be convenient.
Maybe because they're just crappy pixels.
Your guess is as good as mine. (Walkthrough.)
Which is very clearly booze.
Again, still not clear on what I'm looking at.
"Look at the asshole picking up grass!"
WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!?!??!!!?
So sort of like my crown if it was infinitely stupider.
You mean Pete Sassafrass? Because that's the only way any of this is making sense.
I think this speaks for itself.
That's not a praise. That's an insult.
"These depressed vagrants look like they might sad us."
Says that 40 year old looking eggplant monster.
THIS SCENE IS USELESS. I HAD A SHOVEL TAKEN AWAY FROM ME ONLY TO BE GIVEN ANOTHER ONE.
That's usually a VERY good thing.
"How dare they use the fill tool on this hallway!?"
Looks more purple, honestly.
..................*slowly backs away from this mess*
Yea, that's what I thought when I first saw her. "I should look for a star on her forehead."
Nothing about it looks particularly royal. And since when did monarchs even have private shower room
He's talking about the (evidently completely useless) towels.
Was this girl rolling around in the mud before she came in? What are those footprints made of?
That makes no sense. Then again, that's not the first thing about this game that makes no sense.
She's racist and we're perverts. Great.
You know, to GET THE GUARD OFF YOUR ASS.
"Huzzah! You, madame, are worthy of praise!" "PERVERT!"
He trips into the lake for pretty much no reason.
For what? Who the hell can say? This is the guy who held onto grape juice on a hunch.
"I'm ambivalent about this marriage thing. Can't wait to get married."
Why did it have to be the ornament? Why not literally anything else in my pockets?
"Look at all the blood gushing out of his dumb fuck face!"
The hell is it with this game and random 80s references?
Like Famicom Wars, only far more needlessly sexual.
I think it says a lot about me that my first thought for this screenshot was a Sanjay and Craig joke
It never becomes relevant. Ever.
A very strange Neville Chamberlain parody?
I guess that'll work, too. Also, wasn't this guy supposed to fit inside a bucket? Did he grow 6ft?
What an oddly specific and incredibly stupid thing to know.
Move to: right next to her face. Look: for eight hours.
"Day by day"? How often does this girl bathe, again?
"I heard that." "And how rude!"
By the game's own established rules, I have no idea how this works.
What an awkward translation.
No, he looks more like a wine bottle crossed with Hugo, Man of 1000 Faces.
"You're so skillful that you have convinced me to neglect my duties to my brutal dictator boss."
Get it? Because I certainly don't.
How needlessly incredibly confusing.
I have to admit: I was thinking of something else.
Brought to you by Windows Paint.
You'll understand that it's difficult to tell when this is your default expression.
Good thing THAT plot thread was resolved. Otherwise, nothing would have made any sense.
Just in case you wanted to play the two minutes of the final level.
"Why are you shouting?" "IT'S JUST SO EXCITING, MAN!"
What a hastily resolved plot thread.
His marionette look would actually be quite clever if that meant anything.
No. I guess I'll have to do.
How completely stupid, like the rest of this game.
Which is exactly what he is.
LONG LIVE THE ARCHANEAN EMPIRE!
Good. No more of this game.
What a needlessly depressing entry.
I didn't understand a single part of it.
This is no place to make fun of a man's stutter.
These aren't names. These are sentences.
OK, I have absolutely no clue what that's trying to say.
Perhaps the only guy who was doing his job even remotely well.
NONE SHALL QUESTION NONTAMA AND URA SAN.
